Fear of Rejection - Guest Blog by Becky Yates Spencer
Fear. It shows up in various forms.
You'd think that someone who loves Jesus and has followed Him for decades would be completely free of the grip of fear. But if I'm honest, I have to admit that sometimes I still get afraid in one area. It's the fear of rejection.
Sure, I know the Lord accepts me--and adores me! :) That's an encouragement (and a relief)! But I still struggle at times when I think maybe people don't like me or want me. The old voices in my head saying I'm not enough or I'm too much. (The word "intense" comes to mind.)
Case in point: My husband Tracy and I feel called to lead a grow group through our church. We are usually either gone or doing a booth at the KS State Fair and preparing to go back to eSwatini when it's time to sign up to attend a new group. This year, since travel plans are uncertain and the fair was canceled, we realized we'd have time to participate. And since we have plenty of space in our home, it made sense to share it by leading a group.
Truth is, we're really, really hungry for the closer relationships developed in small groups of believers. We've missed it greatly. So we prayed about it, got a green light, and signed up. Attended the training. Thought out possible menus for meals. Pictured who might come. And once registrations opened . . . nothing. One friend even told me she'd registered herself and her husband, but I didn't get an email notification. Not about her sign-up, and not for anyone else, either.
So last Sunday was one week until launch, and we still didn't know if anybody planned to come to our group. I had a marker in my purse, so I scratched out "We want YOU" onto the grow group pamphlet and held it up in the lobby after church, shyly making eye contact with anyone who was willing to link eyes and read my handmade sign. We talked to a few people and left hopeful. But the nagging voices still tried to torment me. "Why would anybody want to come to your group? They don't know you. They won't like you. You're too __________." (Fill in the blank.)
All RIDICULOUS, especially because I know better than to let those "darts" from the enemy find their way into my head. And also because being a grow group leader isn't about soothing my fears--it's about getting to know some people and doing life together--which is what our hearts long for.
This morning I contacted the grow group pastor to see if possibly there'd been a glitch in the system. Well, surprise, surprise--yes, there had been! The notifications hadn't gone through to my email, so he forwarded the registered people's contact info to me. When I saw who'd signed up (yes, including the friend I thought was all in), my heart was so thankful.
What the enemy means for evil, the Lord ends up using for good. Since I know how it feels to be insecure about whether or not I'm lovable, I have a big place in my heart that is determined to show others that they have great value--to the Lord Jesus and to me and to this world.
Maybe you also sometimes struggle with the fear of rejection. Does it hold you back from connecting with others? I'd like to suggest that what you perceive as rejection or dislike might be a "glitch" in communication, too. We're created for relationships. Go ahead--take the risk. Reach out to someone about joining a small group today. There are people waiting to know you. The one and only you, uniquely designed to bless someone else. Do it today!
Just a few facts about us in case you're wondering if we have anything in common: We've been married for 44 years. We met at the Jesus Academy (a discipleship training center for hippies and hippie wanna-be's who wanted to walk with Jesus in the 1970s). We're the parents of 8 children. We have 28 grandchildren (so far!). We're adoptive parents. We do short-term mission work in eSwatini, Africa. We founded Grand Staff Ministries 14 years ago (for the above work). Almost 5 years ago we started Grand Staff Thrift Boutique in Buhler. We turned our big house into a bed and breakfast. Tracy's been a machinist for over 46 years. He's semi-retired so he can go with me to Africa every trip now. I like to sing and read and write. He likes to golf and invent and work on his 1972 Chevy truck. We've been walking with Jesus for over 45 years. We've suffered 10 miscarriages. We're addicted to the Blue Bloods series. The first of our closest friends from the Jesus Academy went home to Jesus in January. :( I think praline brownies a la mode with homemade fudge sauce is pretty much the best thing I've ever tasted, next to french press espresso Sabie Valley coffee. Think we could be friends?
From Ava:
Becky is one of my new friends that I met at a writers’ conference last year. For some reason, we connected immediately. I’m pretty sure it was because of our shared laughter around the dinner table. Also, we both suffer from the fear that others might think we are “too intense”. Frankly, I think I am and Becky is just about perfect. Becky immediately impressed me because of her amazing ministry to abused and neglected children in Eswatini, Africa. You can read about it in her award-winning book, A Bruised Reed: Memoirs of African Orphans and Their Rescuers.
Ordering A Bruised Reed: Memoirs of African Orphans and Their Rescuers: For a signed copy, you can go to our ministry website, https://www.grandstaffthrift.com/ecommerce/store.php Otherwise you can order from Amazon, https://www.amazon.com/Bruised-Reed-Memoirs-Rescuers-Fighting/product-reviews/0974756148/ref=cmcr_dp_d_show_all_btm?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews
