Scattered

This morning I'm finding myself very scattered. It is a characteristic of my personality to be somewhat scatter-brained at times. I have other much more commendable qualities. But this is one characteristic that I'm not proud of and that I get very frustrated with.

I took a drive early in the morning as I often do so I could pray and listen to good teaching. It was a wonderful time of focused devotion to God. I asked Him to guide my steps throughout this day; every single step. I accepted His answer with great joy and confidence that He would indeed do that.

But… when I got home I tried to sit down and do a Bible study. That Bible study was interrupted many times by phone calls, texts, and Facebook messages. Phone calls to my daughter trying to arrange babysitting for next week. Texts with another daughter who is very sick from her pregnancy. Texts from a friend who just found out her workplace is seeing a continuing rise in Covid 19 cases. Facebook messages from church friends wanting to help with the needs of a family that’s adopting a sibling group.

I was frustrated with my inability to refocus in between interruptions. My thoughts were all over the place. Then God gently pointed out to me that every one of these interruptions was an opportunity to minister to someone; all of these phone calls, texts, and messages that interrupted my Bible study, my blog writing, my book writing and my carefully constructed to-do list. I had the opportunity to step in and minister.

We never know at the beginning of any given day what direction our God will take us. Our job is to commit to Him and to trust Him. To not look to ourselves but to continually look up into His loving face and allow Him to guide us down the path that He has chosen. Not the paths that we have chosen.

My website and Facebook Page both are entitled “The Crazy Crooked Path” for this very reason. We like to think, as we begin a day, that we have a very straight path to follow, but that is hardly ever the case.

God has different ideas about how our day might go and we need to be ready to listen and to act as He bids us. He might take us down a wild ride but it's His wild ride. Our job is to hang on and trust.

I want to be known as a Mary, not a Martha. I think of Martha as being the one that has her carefully constructed list and she must doggedly stick to it. But Mary is ready to veer off her path and take time to listen to Jesus. Mary is ready to have her life re-written as He sees fit. I want to be that Mary.

I love this description from Jan Karon's book, “To Be Where You Are”. These are Tim Kavanaugh's words about his wife. “She had done everything and more to make things better by her living presence.”

I would love it if someone could say those words about me at the end of my life. I want to “make things better by [my] living presence”; a presence that is in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit and is ready to act when God nudges.

My tendency is to get a little anxious and judgmental towards myself when I can't stay on track or stay focused. But thanks to God's grace He reminds me that He is at work in the midst of all of it. He has a plan that's different from my plan. And I don't want to miss His plan because I'm so focused on my plan.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

“O Lord, you're beautiful.

Your face is all I seek;

For when your eyes are on this child,

Your grace abounds to me.”

(From the song, “O Lord, You're Beautiful”, lyrics by Keith Greene)

“Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” (Proverbs 12:25)

“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything,” (Philippians 4:5,6))

“Teach me your way, O Lord and I will walk in your truth.” (Psalm 86:11)