Reunited - Guest Blog by Nate Wessley

Until last week it had been nearly 30 years since I had spent any significant amount of time with the man in this picture. He was out of my life at an early age and as far as it concerned me there was no way for him to make it back in. Out of spite I stripped him of the title of dad pretty early on and defaulted to calling him Dan for as long as I can remember. If he didn't want to BE my dad, I certainly didn't want to give him the honor of calling him that.

But you see God had a plan all along.

A major player in that plan was my grandma Loretta Swafford (Dan's mom). Although I didn't see Dan or that side of the family for many, many years she was always intentional about staying in touch with me and keeping me updated with what was going with them. She always referred to Dan as my dad...which drove me nuts, but out of respect for her I let it slide.

I knew that Dan's life had been a mess for a pretty good stretch and that he had fallen prey to alcoholism. I knew that he had remarried twice since he split with my mom and that he had three other kids with his third wife since. 

In the meantime, I ran into some struggles of my own. In my teen years and into my early twenties I began masking the pain I had suffered by drinking and becoming a drug user. By my mid-twenties I had given up the drugs but in the process became a full-blown alcoholic. I had become a wreck...just like Dan and I hated myself for it.

But, God went to work on us both. We both turned to Him in our time of need and He showed up in a mighty way! In short, He saved us, sobered us up, and went to work on our hearts. My heart was so calloused and hardened towards Dan that it would take some major work on the Lord's part, but luckily for me that's His specialty.

That's when I ran into the book of Philemon. It's such a small book in the Bible that many people don't even know it's there....the first time I read it I didn't understand why it was in there either. I remember telling my pastor (who was my mentor) that I got nothing from reading through it...twice. His response was to read it again and again until God revealed something to me. That's just what I did and after a couple of times through God began to speak loud and clear.

From Philemon 1:8b-9a, 12, 15-18, 21:

“I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love."

“I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you."

“Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother."

“So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. “

“If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me." 

“Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.”

God had spoken. I had been holding Dan as a slave to my unforgiving heart and it was time to let it go. I called him that week (this was so hard) and told him that I had forgiven him for everything. The hurt, the disappointment, the pain...all of it. That was the first true step towards healing. For nearly 10 years after that we'd take half a step forward and a quarter step back. It didn't feel like we were making much progress, but God was at work behind the scenes and we were moving forward. 

Fast forward to a few months ago. My family and I went to my grandma's 80th birthday party and saw many of the family members I hadn't seen in forever.... including Dan and his family. It was so good to see them all and I knew in my heart I needed to have some time alone with Dan to get all of the water under the bridge. So, a couple of weeks ago I texted him to ask if I could come down for a few days and that's just what I did. We fished, we laughed, we cried, but most of all we healed. God restored our relationship as only He could and sent my DAD back to me forever...just like He said in His Word.

As in any great story He is the real hero. Only He could write a story like this one and I'm so looking forward to seeing how the next chapter unfolds. Love you, Dad.