Letting Go - Guest Blog by Annette Duncan

I recently completed a grueling trek on my life journey that many before me have traveled, some are traveling now and almost everyone will face at some time. I had to say good-bye to my aged parents who were both almost 96 years old and died within 15 days of each other.

It was a beautiful love story. They were married for 74 years and were able to stay in their home that my Dad built. It was there in that house where Dad passed in his bedroom and where mom stayed until she had to be hospitalized during her last 41 hours because of a massive stroke. It was what they wanted and I did everything I could to accommodate their wishes, but somehow in all my caregiving, I left myself completely unprepared for what I would face when they were gone.

As I began to go through the process of closing their estate and sorting through all their belongings, I found myself struggling to let go. I did the three piles with the throw-away pile, the give-away pile, and the keep pile. The ratio of the throw-away pile and give-away pile to the keep pile ended up being small Walmart bags to a big honking 42-gallon commercial trash bag of keep stuff. I could not flatten the curve.

As my husband and I were pulling up the plum-colored, sculptured shag carpeting that was in my old bedroom from 1972, Phil pulled out a box knife and started to cut the carpet so he could put it in the dumpster easier. I said in a raised voice, “No, I want to keep this”. Phil’s look was priceless. It was somewhere between, “You can’t be serious” and “I think you need therapy”. I explained that I wanted it for a playhouse for our granddaughter and he looked a little more relieved. He has been concerned about all the “treasures” that I am unable to release.

This week, I received a brochure from the Hospice group that so faithfully supported me through the end of life process. There was a quote from Richard File that said, “Those, who live no more, echo within our thoughts and words. What they did has become woven into what we are”. This thought has helped me to let go. The idea that my mom and dad’s values, their faith in God and their memories are woven into who I am. I don’t have to keep every little trinket to remind me.

When I think of how God adopted us as His children and wove His Holy Spirit into us to help, comfort and guide us, it helps me let go. God didn’t give us trinkets, but He gave us His beautiful creation, His Word and His Holy Spirit to help us as we sojourn here.

I’m going to keep a few treasures of my parents, but maybe today I will let go of my mom’s toothbrush.

When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth, for He will not speak on his own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak, and He will declare to you the things that are to come.  He will glorify Me, for He will take what is mine and declare it to you.  All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that He will take what is mine and declare it to you.
(John 16:13‭-‬15 ESV)