Live Life Large

Today I lived life small.

I started the day with a plan. A big plan. Today was going to be the day I finished novel number 3.

But I didn't. I was in zombie zone all day. I scrolled mindlessly through Facebook and Instagram over and over. I checked my emails. Again and again. I meandered through the house and did lots of easy, little jobs. I ate too much. I watched HGTV. I took a nap. I sat and stared at my computer. And stared. And stared.

Nothing… So I went shopping.

Why was today this way? I'm not sure. Maybe I was simply tired. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think it goes as deep as my spirit.

The Bible teaches us that we’ll find strength as we are filled with the joy of the Lord. I was lacking joy. And that affected everything else. My motivation. My enthusiasm. My creativity. My belief that God is at work in me.

I wasn't really sad. Or discouraged. I didn't feel down. I just felt... blah. I felt small, ineffectual, uncreative, distracted.

It's so strange. There are days that I can sit at my computer and it's as if the words fly off my fingertips. If I take a break to fix supper or do some other pressing chore, I can't stop thinking about the story I'm writing. I can't stop living it. While supper cooks I can't wait to run to my computer and hammer out the next scene.

It's exciting. It's fun. I'm amazed at the creativity that flows. I recognize that it's straight from God.

And then there are days like today...

Not a total waste, thank God. He saw how badly I needed to hit the reset button. As I left the house, instead of grabbing the novel I'm reading, I grabbed Bob Goff's book "Dream Big".

So now, here I sit, eating in Panera's parking lot and reading this inspiring, light-a-fire-under-your-butt book.

On my way here, I listened to the words of an amazing song, stopped the car, and wrote almost an entire blog. Then while I was eating and reading “Dream Big”, one particular phrase struck me. I put the book down and wrote another blog. When I got home at 7 pm, I sat at my computer and, Io and behold, I was transported back to 19th century, post-war Missouri. Creativity gushed forth for the next 2 hours. I lived my story. I loved my story. If I can't write this way, I don't want to write.

In spite of me, God is working. He knows we are little weaklings. “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:14)

We are babies learning to walk, toddlers learning to run. We get tired. We make mistakes. We fall down.

And He's always there, loving us with a love way bigger than an earthly parent's love. He delights in us and in our efforts. He loves to pick us up, hold us, encourage us, strengthen us, fill us with renewed joy and confidence.

He wants to reframe our thinking. To destroy the paralyzing lies of the enemy and fill us up with the truth about Himself. And the truth about how precious we are to Him. He wants to open our eyes to see Him more clearly. He wants us to come to the place where the joy of the Lord truly is our strength. He wants us to delight in Him continually.

From my experience, when I walk through life, choosing to delight in God's amazing Presence, then I'm energized. I’m full of love for others. I'm full of ambition. My creativity soars. I'm happy. Truly happy. It's hard to wipe the smile off my face.

What better way to Live Life Large than to continually bask in the very Presence of the Creator!

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

“God, the Lord, is my strength; He makes my feet like the deer’s; He makes me tread on my high places.” (Habakkuk 3:19)

“You make known to me the path of life; in Your Presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 1611)